My Real Life: I Dated an “Alt Right” Guy
This one's a long one, but I had to be true to the story and let it be as long as it needed to. This story is about allowing yourself to find a whole new political paradigm because falling in love makes you consider things that you never ever would before. This story is also about what actually makes someone "right" or "wrong" for you, it turned out to be different than I thought. This story is also about dating one of the weirdest people I have ever met, but to be honest that was what I liked about him. He was just so weird and I learned so much, I had to share...
I fall in love super fast. No- maybe medium fast. But quick. When I know I like someone I just like them completely. It doesn’t boil into intensity it’s more like a switch. It’s totally off and then it’s on. And when it’s on it’s fucking on and it doesn't turn off so easily. I can just become so fascinated with someone it's like I'm studying them, they're a subject and I become an expert.
I recall the exact moment that I saw "the guy" that would particularly rock my world - on Tinder. I was eating fast food in my car at 11 at night sulking over the last guy that hadn’t worked out. I’d just moved to Nashville about a month ago and I was Tindering pretty hard. Dating is a good way to get to know a new city. That’s how I learned my way around NYC , I think.
I was swiping left, left, left, STOP. It was a black and white headshot andhe had an extremely handsome face. Handsome faces are my favorite. "The guy" and I had a few mutual friends on Tinder so it was easy to check him out on Facebook.
My jaw dropped. I was not accustomed to this. Oh my God. He was a HUGE Trump supporter. Like big time. Like weirdly. Like that's how he described himself and he had one of those horrible red hats. I clicked on his Facebook live video. He’s so hot, standing in the middle of an under construction bathroom saying “Donald Trump is a billionaire businessman that doesn’t HAVE to do ANYTHING. Donald Trump is going to save America. He’s only doing this out of the goodness of his heart because he wants to.”
I’d never really heard anyone say those things in real life. I’d heard OF people saying those things but I’d definitely NEVER EVER been attracted to someone and heard them say things like that at the same time. It was so disturbing and so attractive to me at the exact time. I had just moved from NYC and knew maybe 2 people that half heartedly supported Trump. To me it felt like a myth that these Trump fans existed. I texted one of my NYC friends to find this kid on Facebook immediately and watch his video because basically he was going to die. My friend texted me back that it scared him. I had chills from the amount of intrigue I was experiencing. This guy was my next project, the was "the guy".
His profile on Facebook said he was a Musician, Entrepreneur, Talk Show Host, and Author. This is a person that takes himself verrrrrry seriously. Talk Show Host?
If I had one of those Zack Morris, Saved By the Bell time freezing abilities, I would stop it right here. This is the moment I could have avoided all the pain that will so clearly and inevitably come from this. I could have just enjoyed the fact that this strange person existed, but no, I had to get involved and delude myself that I could be this interested in someone yet remain emotionally detached. Oh, fuck it.
I was gonna meet a REAL Trump supporter. A HOT one.
I messaged him.
“Hey” my favorite Tinder pick up line.
“Hi” he replied, quickly. “How’s it going?” he replied quickly. I’ll spare you all the small talk but it lasted about a week before we finally met. He was from the midwest, he was an Aquarius, he was also into Astrology. A male Trump supporter that likes astrology?. I brought up politics pretty quickly but of course I didn’t tell him that I’d already stalked his Facebook. He’d described his political leanings in his Tinder profile so I assumed he was up for discussing it.
I sent him my EP that I haven't released yet and he said “I want to marry your voice.”
He sent me the music he has out right now which happened to be an anti - Obama song. I actually liked it. Or did I like him? There was something thrilling about talking to someone with ideas like this. I’d only had liberal friends and I had been deeply liberal my entire life, so it felt like flirting with the dark side.
“So do you like Donald Trump?” I knew the answer but I wanted to get the ball rolling.
“Yes, if you don’t like Donald Trump then you probably won’t like me.” I already decided to like you.
“Well, I’m liberal but I’m open minded.”
“I’m open minded too but liberals are wrong about most things. I’m a libertarian, but a lot of people would say I’m alt right.”
“Doesn’t that mean you’re racist?”
“You’re just brainwashed by the mainstream media. I’m not racist I have black and Muslim friends.”
“That doesn’t necessarily make you not racist.”
“That’s just the programming, you’re programmed. You have to listen to my talk show. I talk about this on my talk show.” Yes, your talk show.
He incessantly talked about his "talk show" which in real life is called a podcast. We talked about all of the talking points that are popular right now, and disagreed on pretty much everything. That was hot though. I like to fight and I really like a person that can debate with me. He didn't believe in climate change, or that white privilege exists, or feminism, or gun control. He LIKED ANN COULTER. He was such an exotic creature to me.
I listened to his podcast. It was well produced with intro music and commercials and an interview with a constitutional attorney. He went on and on about liberals being fascists and it was actually the first time I’d ever heard anything like that. I’d only heard liberals describe the right as fascists. My mind was blown considering how each side was calling each other the exact same thing. Some of the things he was saying were making sense.
That’s the first moment my mind was opened. He was intelligent. His views were 180 degrees to mine but the way he expressed them was thoughtful and sexy.
I was the one to finally suggest that we meet. He later told me that he wasn't sure if I really liked him because he was a Trump supporter. He asked me if I wanted to go out or just hang out at his house and play guitar. I wouldn't normally have a first date at someone's apartment but I felt good about it so I agreed to just come over.
I drive to his apartment like 20 minutes outside of Nashville. I get there, and I’m totally nervous. The moment right before you're about to meet a Tinder date almost always makes me want to barf. One time I actually drove all the way to a Tinder date and when I got there I stayed in my car and texted the guy, sorry I just don't feel like doing this and then drove home. This time however, I did get out of the car. I called him when I arrived and he coached me through his apartment complex to his front door.
He had a really different vibe than from his Facebook and pictures. A little more feminine, kind of like a gay guy. No, metrosexual. He wore his clothes kind of tight and he seemed to put a lot of energy into his hair.
I walked into his apartment. It was spotless and smelled amazing and very dim. There were many scented candles all around the apartment and everything was extremely organized. It was very dimly lit. He had some track lighting on in the kitchen and the rest of the place was lit by candlelight. I immediately got a very American Psycho vibe. This might turn some people off but I was just more intrigued.
His face was more rough in person. It was still pretty but there was a sign that he’d been through something very difficult, it looked like he had some scars on his face.
I was so nervous.
I was so hoping this would go well.
I was hoping I lived up to his expectations.
He poured me a glass of Pellegrino with lime.
He poured himself a glass of vodka with ice.
Then he’s like, “I forgot to take my vitamins today, so I’m going to take them now.” He opens another cabinet that is full of meticulously organized vitamin bottles and one by one takes what looks like about 50 vitamins over the course of three minutes and washes it down with his vodka. Then he laughs.
I’m just sitting there.
“It’s pretty funny I just took those with vodka.”
“Yeah, I guess.” There’s passive aggressiveness in my voice but I’m not sure he senses it. Pay attention to me.
He comes and sits down next to me.
I'm nervous so I bring up Hillary Clinton. This topic never fails. We can riff on this for hours.
Hillary is a criminal, the left is fascist, blah blah, blah.
We talked a little about our families and our lives. He told me that he grew up in a cult. That was like, very attractive to me. I didn't think he could get more interesting.
He picks up his guitar and starts playing Howie Day. He just sings through the entire song, I feel like I don’t really need to be there. “Good job.” when he finishes he never asks me if I want to play one. He then started playing the Goo Goo Dolls.
"Can we do something else maybe? I listen to cover songs all day long on Broadway." I'm not sure if he's trying to show off or if he actually just feels like playing music by himself and doesn't care that I'm there. When he sings it's sort of like he's pretending to be a 90's alternative rock star and it's making me uncomfortable.
We talk about guns. He shows me his biggest gun. It is fucking huge, a machine gun with a big knife on the front of it. He says he has 15 guns.
Why is this turning me on?
We start talking about feminism. He says sexism doesn't really exist anymore. He’d posted something about how #feminismisamentalillness that day.
“It’s not really good to say that feminism is a mental illness, you sound sexist.”
“Well it is a mental illness, feminism is the same as masculinism. It's saying one is better than the other. Can I call myself a masculinist and have that be okay?"
“The definition of feminism is equality between men and women, that’s literally the definition.”
“Well it’s a misnomer, it should be humanism.”
“Well that’s what feminism means, you sound sexist when you say it’s a mental illness.”
“Well some feminists are mentally ill.”
“Like feminazi, you really shouldn’t use that word.” I had never known a person personally that had used the word feminazi for real. It surprised me that I didn't find it off putting but actually intriguing.
“Well, some people are feminizes”
“No, that’s a sexist term for feminists. It’s derogatory. You might be sexist.”
“I’m not sexist.”
We're leaning in.
“I’m not sure.”
“I’m not sexist.”
We're making out.
We make out for a long time. Like an hour. We move to the couch. We’re still making out. We move to the bedroom. I was trying so hard not sleep with him. Whenever I’m going to sleep with someone on the first date I make this mental choice - will I be okay with never seeing them again? It always feels like it might ruin everything.
We did it.
We laid there wrapped around eachother.
“Was this this the first time you’ve ever slept with a Trump supporter?” He's smiling.
“Yeah, it was.”
“Was this the first time you slept with a Hillary Clinton supporter?”
“Yes. I can’t believe I just slept with a Clinton supporter. That is crazy.”
I officially liked him. There was no fighting it. I just did. I liked how clean his apartment was. I liked the way he looked. I liked him. I felt so sophisticated dating outside of my political sphere. Look how open minded I am.
I went home and did my tarot cards to make sure we’d fall in love. We started texting everyday. Dating a Trump supporter felt like an act of rebellion. I felt super into this guy.
But it started to move really fast really suddenly.
He'd post things on Facbook making fun of Michelle Obama's looks or articles from Breitbart about why Sara Silverman's feminazi ways are bad for women.
I felt like if I liked him then I was condoning these kinds of views that were literally against what I believed in.
Oh and the illuminati stuff.
I haven't even gotten to that.
This guy was also sure that he knew the secrets of the illuminati and well as deep esoteric knowledge about the workings of the universe. And he'd written a book about it, that wasn't released yet. It honestly just keeps getting better.
I felt like I had this choice to make that was like, do I like someone that all of my liberal friends would absolutely despise or do I set aside my current paradigm and just see what happens?